Cowboy Nation Week 6 Power Rankings

“I dont mind stealing bread
From the mouths of decadence
But I cant feed on the powerless
When my cups already overfilled” – Temple of the Dog “Hunger Strike”

Some teams here are on a hunger strike. The league is wide open, and as heated as ever. Will the bottom dwellers rise to playoff prominence? Can the front runners capture the early playoff spot, or will they fade out as midseason gets underway? Questions remain unanswered. Nobody is perfect anymore, so all the chips are on the table. Add to that the heat that the Commissioner is feeling over the playoff vote, which is now a proposal between three choices: 6, 7, or 8 team playoff? When all is said and done, Cowboy Nation is anybody’s for the taking. However, the one thing that we can be certain of is, the league has never been this hot.

1) The Raging Sherpas – Shea Dixon: (4-1) An odd spot to be in, but the Sherpas dropped a game this weekend and remain at the number one spot. The Sherpas were involved in their first slugfest of the season, coming out on the losing end of the affair to Kastanos, 71-65. Tom Brady has proven he is one of the best QB’s to have running the team, and the LT to boot isn’t bad. What is troubling is that the Cowboys are winning, and doing it without Terrell Owens and Marion Barber III. T.O. should soon get the balls back his way, but it seems the Cowboys will not get over Jones-Barber III splitting time. Brandon Marshall and Calvin Johnson have both been somewhat reliable as a second WR, but there is need for improvement. This roster has been one of the most reliable in the league. The Sherpas need to bounce back this week against the Bottom Dwellers, for Chuck Norris comes calling in Week 7.

Last Week’s Ranking: 1

2) Walker TX Ranger – Brian Norris: (4-1) The Rangers didn’t have much too offer this week. Carson Palmer and AP were on bye weeks. Maroney sat out. Javon Walker sat out. Even Trent Green went down!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=CQhsrpAZ_a8

You just got punk’d Chuck Norris!

This team might have trouble getting on track this week against Dean, but they will at least be in better health and numbers. This team has started off red hot. Can they keep it up as midseason comes near? Doubt has surrounded this team, but the points still show. On the website that matters in the end, this team is the best in Cowboy Nation.

Last Week’s Ranking: 2

3) Bad Newz Kennels – Beau Fleming: (4-1) Wow. The Kennels game with Greek Mafia was almost as exciting as the Monday Night game that decided its outcome. The Kennels needed 27 to tie, and all they had to offer was a TE and a K. Greg Olsen, formerly known as “Mr. I Don’t Get in the Game”, went off for the Mafia, pulling in an unexpected 11 points and a TD. Maurice Jones-Drew, formerly punk’d by Team Beastmode, dried his eyes and put together a solid week, adding 17 points to the board. But wait, the Cowboys throw 6 INTs and turn the ball over seven times. And, Witten puts up 16 points while Nick Folk goes 4-4 on the night with the game winner, topping off the Kennels with 16 more points to take down Mijalis by 5. Questions remain with the team, despite the successful start. The downfall of Marc Bulger left this team with little production from the QB spot. However, recent trades have put big names on this team. If people get healthy, this team can be easily argued for as the best in the league.

Last Week’s Ranking: 3

4) I’m 40, I’m a Man – Jon Kastanos: (3-2) The win Monday night over the Sherpas was the biggest win possibly of the season. Not only did it keep this team above .500, but showed that Romo could play the worst game of his career and the team would fair well. When Addai gets healthy, this is an amazing roster. Without him, questions remain. He doesn’t have his handcuff in Kenton Keith, who showed he can carry the rock by getting 27 points in Addai’s absence. The Colts are a playoff team, so they might be able to sit an unhealthy Addai if he needs to be nursed in the coming weeks, or towards the end of the season. There lies the problem for Kastanos, leaving this team with only one running back and a slew of banged up receivers.

Last Week’s Ranking: 4

5) Team Beastmode – Daniel Roane: (3-2)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=4JMOh-cul6M

You know what this is?

This is Team Beastmode. And you know what that means?

You’re about to get beastmoded

I am gonna beastmode every team that plays me

Ashby? Beastmoded. Dean Mijalis? Beastmoded.

You know what else that means?

I drop Maurice Jones Drew..

And if anyone’s got a problem with that, fuckin’ skanks.

Skank. Skanks. Fuckin’ skank.

Yo, chief, let me get a couple of Chris Brown’s down here.

Yeah I drafted Brian Leonard.

That’s because I’m the man, and everyone should know it.

Everyone: “Roane, why are you drafting all these shitty players?”

Roane: “Not now, Chief, I’m in the fucking zone.

Yeah I drop solid FF halfbacks.

I do that shit for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

I’m in control! I’m in fuckin’ control!

Two fuckin’ Chris Brown’s down here, chief

I’m gonna win this weekend. Im gonna start Chris Brown and Earnest Graham. Guys with Brown’s talent…I shower in that shit.

Chris Brown. Chris Brown. Fuckin’ Chris Brown.

Last Week’s Ranking: 8

6) Dick Lyons Jr. – Dean Mijalis: (3-2) It didn’t take much. Heck, Mijalis had the 53 he needed to win before Lynch stepped on the field Monday night. Mijalis rolled by the Pheonix with ease, who have now dropped three straight. From the look of the trades made, this team seems happy to be where they are at. They have lost all production from that has come thus far from the TE spot, and took a hit at the WR slot. But as the weeks come and go, this team will get healthy. And, when it does, it could be one of the more solid rosters in the league. Yet, time is money. And if people don’t get healthy, this team won’t find it easy to win games.

Last Week’s Ranking: 5

7) Greek Mafia – Andrew Mijalis: (2-3) As mentioned before, this team could have been 3-2 right now. The big comeback by Fleming was too much however, and Mijalis fell short once again. This team is dodging bye weeks right now, and look to get a full strength line up by at least Week 7. The Mafia have a good chance to bounce back this week against Riverside Towing, hoping not to drop two straight for the first time this season. The one question that remains is when Vince Young will come around and put up more numbers week in and out. Outside of that, and TE (one-hit wonder), this team is playoff strong. Putting wins together is the next step.

Last Week’s Ranking: 6

8) Team FAITH – Jason Burklow: (2-3) Burklow put a big win together this weekend, knocking off the then undefeated Walker TX Rangers. It was closer than many may think, for WR Randle El (TX Rangers) was tackled at the 1 yard line after a long catch and run. Had he gotten the extra yard, and touchdown, Burklow would be 1-4. It’s the little things that count. FAITH is still waiting on the production from Drew Brees, while McGahee has impressed as a FF standout HB thus far. With Andre Johnson out, this team struggles to find points at the WR spot. When he gets healthy, and Brees comes around, this team can put up some big numbers. Until then they sit on the bubble of teams looking to make the postseason. Wins from here on out are a must. Baby Matrix lays ahead this weekend, which should allow FAITH to climb to .500 through six games.

Last Week’s Ranking: 10

9) The Bottom Dwellers – Ryan Smelley: (2-3) And the Dwellers win again! Right now they are hot! Well, at least in the fact that they have won two games straight. It doesn’t hurt to mention the Dwellers basically were given a win against Riverside Towing, where more than half of Conway’s starting line up was out with injuries or bye weeks. But a wins a win. If Johnson can get consistent and earn his value, this team will be sitting very pretty at running back. The WR core could use some work, and the Dwellers will rely on them to at least score some TDs to help with point production in the coming weeks.

Last Week’s Ranking: 11

10) Riverside Towing – Matt Conway: (1-4) The decision to let Ronnie Brown go may hurt this team. Then again, two weeks ago we said the decision to take him so high was hurting him. Maybe Conway learned something at his white collar job this Summer. Sell it while it’s hot, baby! Maybe, just maybe, Brown will flop. Then again, the Dolphins are bad enough, so he will get his touches. If 30 point weeks become the norm, this trade will have been a heavy contributor to the downfall of the team. Riverside still has Johnson, who sat this week with a bye. When Rudi is hot, they will look to run 3 WRs with Colston, Roy Williams, and Boldin. On paper, that looks like a great team. However, through five weeks of NFL play, injuries and slow starts have made these players, well valueless. The QB spot looks like a week-to-week ordeal, so no bones to pick. Conway should be at full strength soon. Until then, losing games is getting him no closer to the playoffs.

Last Week’s Ranking: 7

11) Baby Matrix – Andrew Ashby: (1-4) This team cleaned house, and I feel like it might pay off huge for the Matrix. Bush could eventually come around, and the second HB spot isn’t flashy. Yet, they now have the Brett Favre-Jennings connection, which could continue to strike big all season. When the Texans get hot through the air again, trade bait looms with Matt Schaub at QB. Getting a HB there could be key. Cotchery is having a good year at WR, and should continue to match Jennings in production (though his numbers are much more unpredictable). This team looked nothing like the Matrix you’ve seen before. Ashby has a new hand, and it looks like he’s going all in.. (sorry but I couldn’t resist..)

Last Week’s Ranking: 12

12) The Phoenix – Patrick Crawford: (1-4) This team is in shambles. It seems inevitable that trades are on the way. Frank Gore and Edge are hot one week and not the next. Lee Evans is non-existent. Steve Smith can’t get a QB to get him the ball in Carolina. Dante Stallworth should continue to get points, but the way Brady spreads the ball around, nobody outside of Moss is going to put up gaudy numbers. This team just can’t seem to string together a set of wins, now having lost three straight. This team even dropped the hot Patrick Crayton, who the Cowboys have enjoyed throwing to while Terrell Owens has seen double teams all season. Another name change means another new week. Bold prediction: the Phoenix get break their losing streak this week against the Bad Newz Kennelz.

Last Week’s Ranking: 9