Cowboy Nation Week 6 Power Rankings

“I dont mind stealing bread
From the mouths of decadence
But I cant feed on the powerless
When my cups already overfilled” – Temple of the Dog “Hunger Strike”

Some teams here are on a hunger strike. The league is wide open, and as heated as ever. Will the bottom dwellers rise to playoff prominence? Can the front runners capture the early playoff spot, or will they fade out as midseason gets underway? Questions remain unanswered. Nobody is perfect anymore, so all the chips are on the table. Add to that the heat that the Commissioner is feeling over the playoff vote, which is now a proposal between three choices: 6, 7, or 8 team playoff? When all is said and done, Cowboy Nation is anybody’s for the taking. However, the one thing that we can be certain of is, the league has never been this hot.

1) The Raging Sherpas – Shea Dixon: (4-1) An odd spot to be in, but the Sherpas dropped a game this weekend and remain at the number one spot. The Sherpas were involved in their first slugfest of the season, coming out on the losing end of the affair to Kastanos, 71-65. Tom Brady has proven he is one of the best QB’s to have running the team, and the LT to boot isn’t bad. What is troubling is that the Cowboys are winning, and doing it without Terrell Owens and Marion Barber III. T.O. should soon get the balls back his way, but it seems the Cowboys will not get over Jones-Barber III splitting time. Brandon Marshall and Calvin Johnson have both been somewhat reliable as a second WR, but there is need for improvement. This roster has been one of the most reliable in the league. The Sherpas need to bounce back this week against the Bottom Dwellers, for Chuck Norris comes calling in Week 7.

Last Week’s Ranking: 1

2) Walker TX Ranger – Brian Norris: (4-1) The Rangers didn’t have much too offer this week. Carson Palmer and AP were on bye weeks. Maroney sat out. Javon Walker sat out. Even Trent Green went down!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=CQhsrpAZ_a8

You just got punk’d Chuck Norris!

This team might have trouble getting on track this week against Dean, but they will at least be in better health and numbers. This team has started off red hot. Can they keep it up as midseason comes near? Doubt has surrounded this team, but the points still show. On the website that matters in the end, this team is the best in Cowboy Nation.

Last Week’s Ranking: 2

3) Bad Newz Kennels – Beau Fleming: (4-1) Wow. The Kennels game with Greek Mafia was almost as exciting as the Monday Night game that decided its outcome. The Kennels needed 27 to tie, and all they had to offer was a TE and a K. Greg Olsen, formerly known as “Mr. I Don’t Get in the Game”, went off for the Mafia, pulling in an unexpected 11 points and a TD. Maurice Jones-Drew, formerly punk’d by Team Beastmode, dried his eyes and put together a solid week, adding 17 points to the board. But wait, the Cowboys throw 6 INTs and turn the ball over seven times. And, Witten puts up 16 points while Nick Folk goes 4-4 on the night with the game winner, topping off the Kennels with 16 more points to take down Mijalis by 5. Questions remain with the team, despite the successful start. The downfall of Marc Bulger left this team with little production from the QB spot. However, recent trades have put big names on this team. If people get healthy, this team can be easily argued for as the best in the league.

Last Week’s Ranking: 3

4) I’m 40, I’m a Man – Jon Kastanos: (3-2) The win Monday night over the Sherpas was the biggest win possibly of the season. Not only did it keep this team above .500, but showed that Romo could play the worst game of his career and the team would fair well. When Addai gets healthy, this is an amazing roster. Without him, questions remain. He doesn’t have his handcuff in Kenton Keith, who showed he can carry the rock by getting 27 points in Addai’s absence. The Colts are a playoff team, so they might be able to sit an unhealthy Addai if he needs to be nursed in the coming weeks, or towards the end of the season. There lies the problem for Kastanos, leaving this team with only one running back and a slew of banged up receivers.

Last Week’s Ranking: 4

5) Team Beastmode – Daniel Roane: (3-2)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=4JMOh-cul6M

You know what this is?

This is Team Beastmode. And you know what that means?

You’re about to get beastmoded

I am gonna beastmode every team that plays me

Ashby? Beastmoded. Dean Mijalis? Beastmoded.

You know what else that means?

I drop Maurice Jones Drew..

And if anyone’s got a problem with that, fuckin’ skanks.

Skank. Skanks. Fuckin’ skank.

Yo, chief, let me get a couple of Chris Brown’s down here.

Yeah I drafted Brian Leonard.

That’s because I’m the man, and everyone should know it.

Everyone: “Roane, why are you drafting all these shitty players?”

Roane: “Not now, Chief, I’m in the fucking zone.

Yeah I drop solid FF halfbacks.

I do that shit for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

I’m in control! I’m in fuckin’ control!

Two fuckin’ Chris Brown’s down here, chief

I’m gonna win this weekend. Im gonna start Chris Brown and Earnest Graham. Guys with Brown’s talent…I shower in that shit.

Chris Brown. Chris Brown. Fuckin’ Chris Brown.

Last Week’s Ranking: 8

6) Dick Lyons Jr. – Dean Mijalis: (3-2) It didn’t take much. Heck, Mijalis had the 53 he needed to win before Lynch stepped on the field Monday night. Mijalis rolled by the Pheonix with ease, who have now dropped three straight. From the look of the trades made, this team seems happy to be where they are at. They have lost all production from that has come thus far from the TE spot, and took a hit at the WR slot. But as the weeks come and go, this team will get healthy. And, when it does, it could be one of the more solid rosters in the league. Yet, time is money. And if people don’t get healthy, this team won’t find it easy to win games.

Last Week’s Ranking: 5

7) Greek Mafia – Andrew Mijalis: (2-3) As mentioned before, this team could have been 3-2 right now. The big comeback by Fleming was too much however, and Mijalis fell short once again. This team is dodging bye weeks right now, and look to get a full strength line up by at least Week 7. The Mafia have a good chance to bounce back this week against Riverside Towing, hoping not to drop two straight for the first time this season. The one question that remains is when Vince Young will come around and put up more numbers week in and out. Outside of that, and TE (one-hit wonder), this team is playoff strong. Putting wins together is the next step.

Last Week’s Ranking: 6

8) Team FAITH – Jason Burklow: (2-3) Burklow put a big win together this weekend, knocking off the then undefeated Walker TX Rangers. It was closer than many may think, for WR Randle El (TX Rangers) was tackled at the 1 yard line after a long catch and run. Had he gotten the extra yard, and touchdown, Burklow would be 1-4. It’s the little things that count. FAITH is still waiting on the production from Drew Brees, while McGahee has impressed as a FF standout HB thus far. With Andre Johnson out, this team struggles to find points at the WR spot. When he gets healthy, and Brees comes around, this team can put up some big numbers. Until then they sit on the bubble of teams looking to make the postseason. Wins from here on out are a must. Baby Matrix lays ahead this weekend, which should allow FAITH to climb to .500 through six games.

Last Week’s Ranking: 10

9) The Bottom Dwellers – Ryan Smelley: (2-3) And the Dwellers win again! Right now they are hot! Well, at least in the fact that they have won two games straight. It doesn’t hurt to mention the Dwellers basically were given a win against Riverside Towing, where more than half of Conway’s starting line up was out with injuries or bye weeks. But a wins a win. If Johnson can get consistent and earn his value, this team will be sitting very pretty at running back. The WR core could use some work, and the Dwellers will rely on them to at least score some TDs to help with point production in the coming weeks.

Last Week’s Ranking: 11

10) Riverside Towing – Matt Conway: (1-4) The decision to let Ronnie Brown go may hurt this team. Then again, two weeks ago we said the decision to take him so high was hurting him. Maybe Conway learned something at his white collar job this Summer. Sell it while it’s hot, baby! Maybe, just maybe, Brown will flop. Then again, the Dolphins are bad enough, so he will get his touches. If 30 point weeks become the norm, this trade will have been a heavy contributor to the downfall of the team. Riverside still has Johnson, who sat this week with a bye. When Rudi is hot, they will look to run 3 WRs with Colston, Roy Williams, and Boldin. On paper, that looks like a great team. However, through five weeks of NFL play, injuries and slow starts have made these players, well valueless. The QB spot looks like a week-to-week ordeal, so no bones to pick. Conway should be at full strength soon. Until then, losing games is getting him no closer to the playoffs.

Last Week’s Ranking: 7

11) Baby Matrix – Andrew Ashby: (1-4) This team cleaned house, and I feel like it might pay off huge for the Matrix. Bush could eventually come around, and the second HB spot isn’t flashy. Yet, they now have the Brett Favre-Jennings connection, which could continue to strike big all season. When the Texans get hot through the air again, trade bait looms with Matt Schaub at QB. Getting a HB there could be key. Cotchery is having a good year at WR, and should continue to match Jennings in production (though his numbers are much more unpredictable). This team looked nothing like the Matrix you’ve seen before. Ashby has a new hand, and it looks like he’s going all in.. (sorry but I couldn’t resist..)

Last Week’s Ranking: 12

12) The Phoenix – Patrick Crawford: (1-4) This team is in shambles. It seems inevitable that trades are on the way. Frank Gore and Edge are hot one week and not the next. Lee Evans is non-existent. Steve Smith can’t get a QB to get him the ball in Carolina. Dante Stallworth should continue to get points, but the way Brady spreads the ball around, nobody outside of Moss is going to put up gaudy numbers. This team just can’t seem to string together a set of wins, now having lost three straight. This team even dropped the hot Patrick Crayton, who the Cowboys have enjoyed throwing to while Terrell Owens has seen double teams all season. Another name change means another new week. Bold prediction: the Phoenix get break their losing streak this week against the Bad Newz Kennelz.

Last Week’s Ranking: 9

Cowboy Nation Week 5 Power Rankings

“I want a new drug
One that wont hurt my head
One that wont make my mouth too dry
Or make my eyes too red” – Huey Lewis and the News “I Want a New Drug”

A lot of teams are in need of a new drug. Bye weeks are coming on heavy. Not too mention the bust players of the season who are either underperforming or have gone down with injuries. Time for a new drug, and in Cowboy Nation, the free agent market isn’t exactly a talent pool. In fact, I would say it’s more like the CFL. It only seems imminent that trades soon come from the horizon before Sunday’s games begin.

1) The Raging Sherpas – Shea Dixon: (4-0) If I had a vote this past weekend, I wouldn’t have voted for USC to be jumped by LSU. There are two 4-0 teams in the league, and both are hot. As for the Power Rankings, the Sherpas stay at the top spot. And, frankly, not much is going wrong with this team. Tom Brady has been on point all season. Add T.O. and Marion Barber III to the list and you have three of the top players on the NFL’s two best teams. Fortunately for the Sherpas, that means points. LT finally got his engine running this past weekend, until they basically benched him at halftime. Though things are rocky in San Diego, LT should eventually get the touches he is paid for. The Sherpas have swept the competition thus far. Yet, the first “true” test should come this week against Kastanos.

Last Week's Ranking: 1

2) Walker TX Ranger – Brian Norris: (4-0) The Sherpas fell short of 100 points for the first time this season. The Rangers did the same, except it was only one point short of the mark, as they defeated the Shreveport Battlewings 99-54 in a game between two of the teams three undefeated teams. Now just two remain. As for the Rangers, Norris is sitting on two good things. For one, his player’s are all red hot, and he is the current point leader in the Cowboy Nation standings, which is what matters in the end. Two, he happens to be sitting on heavy trade bait. He has two of the top five QBs in the NFL on his roster. Trent Green should be safe to ride during his by week. So, let the offers roll, for it seems that either Brett Favre or (gasp) Carson Palmer could be on the trading block. With less touches going the way of Maroney and Co. in New England, offers also seem to be sought from Norris for a 2^nd running back behind AP. Whatever happens, if this team stays this hot, Chuck Norris should clinch a playoff spot halfway through the season.

Last Week's Ranking: 2

3) Shreveport Battlewings – Beau Fleming: (3-1) The Battlewings fell hard against the TX Rangers, putting up a season-low 54 points. Trouble is indeed brewing. This team has no QB, with Smith out four weeks and Bulger out indefinitely (given health and ineffectiveness). The bench doesn’t offer much, given half of its players are stricken with injury or buried beneath a depth chart. Jason Campbell will be this team’s starter, unless the Battlewings make a trade by Sunday. The WR core is fine, but moves at the RB and QB could be made to strengthen this team. Right now, team owner Fleming knows that he is in third place with a seventh or eighth place team. 3-1 is a great record to start off the season, yet time will tell if this team can battle injuries and manage bye weeks to capture a playoff spot.

Last Week's Ranking: 3

4) I’m 40, I’m a Man – Jon Kastanos: (2-2) This team was tough to not put at the number three spot. Through four weeks, Kastanos has put up the third most points in the league. The competition has also been tough, given Kastanos has had the 4^th most points scored on him in the four weeks combined. The three teams ahead of Kastanos also happen to be the three teams who have had the least amount of points scored on them thus far. This team is strong across the board, especially when anchored by Romo. Nothing flashy, but this team will put up points in the 80-plus range every week. Kastanos has a playoff team on his hands. Question is, can everyone keep pace with production thus far?

Last Week's Ranking: 5

5) The Aints – Dean Mijalis: (2-2) The Aints, well, ain’t doing much. They have put up the fourth least amount of points in the league, while sitting among the bottom half of the teams in the points against category. McNabb was a letdown this week, but the points aren’t coming because of injuries. Marvin Harrison remains banged up, while Stephen Jackson is still out (not to even say he will be back to form when he does return). Add to that the fact that Plaxico might not go this weekend, and Mijalis is looking at a tough week ahead. Not to mention it’s McNabb’s bye week, and The Aints don’t currently have another QB on the roster. Unless waivers fall the Aint’s way with the gift of points, Mijalis could fall to 2-3 this weekend, a far cry from how this team began the season.

Last Week's Ranking: 4

6) GREEK MAFIA – Andrew Mijalis: (2-2) It’s hard to argue that this isn’t the hottest team in the league, at least in respect to their slow start. Mafia has put up the league’s second least amount of points, but wins are wins, and this team is .500 after a 0-2 start that made them look like on of the worst teams in the league. And, if you didn’t catch Monday night’s showdown, it was a doozy. Down 19 points, MAFIA was led to victory by TJ Housh and Wes Welker, who combined for, you guessed it, 20 points. Then again, simply starting Jamaal Lewis would have sealed the deal much earlier for Mijalis. No harm no foul, and Mijalis will gladly welcome Vince Young and Clinton Portis back to the roster this week, able to snatch a surprising victory despite their absence.

Last Week's Ranking: 7

7) Intramurals Brother – Matt Conway: (1-3) Slow start. Injuries
. Etc. This team doesn’t just look good on paper, they look good when they get on the field. Problem is, the injury bug is living in the Brother’s house. That said, the players he needs to have on the field aren’t getting their very often. Rudi Johnson was out. Anquan Boldin was out. Vernon Davis is still out. Even Mark Clayton is banged up. Yet, when this team was down and out two weeks ago, it was head coach Dan Hawkins that kicked the team in the rear and got them their first win. It seems now, yet again, they have made the move that they needed. Moving out Ronnie Brown was risky, but when this team gets healthy, they are easily one of the most dangerous rosters in the league.

Last Week's Ranking: 6

8) Team Beastmode – Daniel Roane: (2-2) I’m not sure what to say here. The team plowed this weekend, but three of the players that added to the big point totals all went for their biggest weekends so far this season. That isn’t gonna happen every week. We’re in Baton Rouge, and Roane was mocked when he let half the rookie Tigers onto his roster. Buster Davis isn’t fantasy ready, but it seems Roane struck gold with Dwayne Bowe. Three TDs through four weeks is red-hot for the rookie WR. Stud WR Braylon Edwards also happens to be having the year of his life, running like a train after his slow week one start. Dallas Clark is the elite TE in the league right now, and Ronnie Brown gives Roane the production he lacked at RB. Problem is, where does he go from here? He acquired Chris Brown, but he is of no more value than Maurice Jones Drew, who Roane put on the free agent market just last week. So, in a sense, Roane traded Colston and Winslow for Brown. Of course, Brown is the load carrier in Miami. Yet, giving away two top playmakers in return for one seems like a decision of desperate times and measures rather than rationale thoughts.

Last Week's Ranking: 11

9) Shrute Farm Beets – Patrick Crawford: (1-3) It’s troubling that the Beets were at full strength this week and no starter, outside Big Ben, found the endzone. Frank Gore was held in check for the second week in a row. LaMont Jordan was in the same boat, and might find himself in a deeper hole given that Dominic Rhodes is coming off of suspension and is the hot item on the free agent market. Edge needs to find more production, but that can wait. What can’t is the WR spot. Every week Crawford tests a new tandem, and none have paid off. That bad luck continued when he released Patrick Crayton, who had a career day on Sunday and also looks to be a hot free agent item heading into this weekend. Then again, a career day is a career day. This might not ever happen again. Caveat Emptor.

Last Week's Ranking: 9

10) Team Faith – Jason Burklow: (1-3) All this team needs is faith and they are destined for the playoffs. Things in New Orleans are rocky, so hopefully the week off gave Drew Brees the time he needed to clear his head and begin to put up the fantasy numbers that his value comes with. The running game isn’t overly powerful, but it often gets the job done. When Andre Johnson gets healthy, this team has an extremely dynamic duo at the WR spot. The Steelers defense and Jeff Reed should continue to put up big points while things are going good in Pittsburgh. Faith.. I see this team climbing back above .500 soon.

Last Week's Ranking: 8

11) The Bottom Dwellers – Ryan Smelley: (1-3) Last week I said everyone was in the mix, even 0-3. The Dwellers proved that this week when they knocked out their first win of the season. In fact, Larry Johnson just might have arrived for team owner Ryan Smelley. Thomas Jones is not a bad sidekick to LJ, and Santonio Holmes had a scorching weekend. Eli at QB didn’t look bad against the Eagles, but he didn’t look amazing. He looked, well, like Eli. If Torry Holt can get the Rams sparked on offense, this team could be primed to make a run at a playoff spot. Don’t count out Marty and Co. And, let us not forget, Smelley lost out on Deuce when he went down for the season. If a run is made, Smelley will be one of the more impressive stories of the league.

Last Week's Ranking: 12

12) Baby Matrix – Andrew Ashby: (1-3) This team has lost three straight games and sit right at the bottom of the Power Rankings. Javon Walker has been injured half the season, while Devery Henderson and Roddy White offer little in his place. Getting Devery Henderson and Reggie Bush rolling will be huge for this team. When Johnson gets healthy, expect Schaub to take the reigns of this team. A hot Javon Walker won’t hurt either. This team needs help quick, so something must happen. Then again, Cowboy Nation is a $30 per team league. Owner Andrew Ashby probably has other things on his mind.

http://www.iprdata.com/ipr/eventDetail/id-3493.html

It is the International Poker Rankings database. And, of course, Baby Matrix is at #168, raking in over $4,000 at a satellite tournament for the WSOP. Add to that the $30,000 tournament that Ashby won at the Beau Rivage last month, and the bottom of the Power Rankings isn’t something he loses sleep over. In fact, he might just buy this site and shut it down..

Last Week's Ranking: 10